SLAM POEM: FAD DIETS

My tummy is growling,

Turning to and fro,

My chub sits there and complains,

I don’t need to grow.

What should I do?

Have you heard the newest fad?

Diet, that is, it’ll make your bod look rad.

Let’s try the cookie diet

Losing 15 pounds in 30 days,

Then gain all the weight back,

In 100 different ways.

Now let’s try the grapefruit diet,

For breakfast, lunch, and dinner,

And then we can starve ourselves

Watch me be the winner.

5 pounds in one week,

I can easily do it,

All the celebrities are,

God forbid if they quit.

Cant you tell on their ads?

With their hard rock abs?

That could easily be you,

It’s the simplest thing to do.

With the no carb diet,

Cut out all fruits,

Why are you looking at me funny?

Do I look like a bunny?

Just cause fruits have low calories

You will still pay the fees

Since carbohydrates are the wrong keys

For these weight losing strategies.

You WILL lose weight,

And you WILL look great,

Your body will be bangin

No more arms and butts hangin.

So now that your outside,

Is looking better than ever,

lets take a look at your inside as we hit the lever,

side effects are included, you’ll get the gist,

let me name you a few as I read you this list,

nausea, hair loss, and organ malfunction,

dizziness and bad breath, such an exciting conjunction.

The only way youll be cool is if you try a hip diet,

Cause just eating healthy and going to the gym might cause a huge riot.

I am confused, to say the least,

By all this contradiction,

I really wonder what is fact,

And what fact is fiction?

From all of these diets,

And the information I have gathered,

I can only think that eating is just a damn health hazard.

What else can we fall for?

The next ones called the jersey shore diet?

Tanning lotion for breakfast?

Perfect cause you cant fry it.

Then the diet includes: hairspray for lunch

women will conclude,

results show more than one crunch.

Cause if they look like a grenade,

Their social life will fade,

An f for fat will be their grade,

Society will continue believing,

All of the fads that they have made.